Drunk Foreigners

The three of us were enjoying a late night cup of coffee at Tim Hortons while raging about our lives (as per usual), WHEN we were suddenly approached by two middle aged drunken foreigners...

...these were the most memorable quotes.

Upon being greeted;

Foreigner: "Hey ladies ;)"

Tara: [Gives peace sign]

Foreigner: "What's that? Peace?"

Tasha: "International sign of peace."

Instead of greeting us with a normal hand shake the second foreign drunk  AKA "Sasha" proceeded to greet us with a pinky swear?! 

Tara was the first to fall victim.

Tara: "Why are you pinky swearing?"

Foreigner: "You never did pinky swear as a child?"

Tara: "Um, no."

Foreigner: "You were never a child?"

Tara: "You're right, I popped out of my mom's uterus at the age of 20."

Tasha: "Are you pinky swearing not to make us into lampshades or a pair of slippers?"

Confused about our current location on a Friday night we were then asked;

Foreigner: "So, why are you here all alone on a Friday? No boyfriends?"

Elizabeth: "I am a lesbian."

Tara: "What?! Just because we're at Tim Hortons means that we're all single?"

Tasha: "Well, I just clocked out from my position on the corner, so..."

Foreigner: "What are you ladies doing here on a Friday night?"

Tasha: "Who's your friend over there?"

Foreigner: "He is not my friend. I am not from country, I am visiting him, but I left my ring at home."

TET could not help but notice their matching pin striped suits so we asked;

Tasha: "So... why are you wearing suits?"

Foreigner: "Why aren't you wearing dresses?"

Tasha: "Why aren't YOU wearing dresses? ;)"

Foreigner: "That's okay, I would say, I was a guy...a greek guy."

Tara: "Like a toga?"

Foreigner: "No, a kilt!"

Tara: "Umm, you mean Scottish?"

Tasha: "Did you guys stumble into the same closet then? Wow! I can smell the alcohol from over here."

Tara: "Wow! You`re buzzed."

Foreigner: "I`m the best. I KNOW! You will find out ;)"

Tara: "Ummm no thanks! I'll take your word for it!"

While attempting to make small talk with us we were asked;

Foreigner: "So, what are your names, ladies? [followed by no response] Okay, redhead, brunette and question mark."

Tara: "Umm, why am I a question mark?" [clearly a brunette]

Tara: "Why don't you go home to your wife?"

Foreigner: "Wife? I have no wife. I have no ring on my finger that is why I am happy."

Tara: "But you said you left your ring at home...LIAR!"

Foreigner: "I don't lie. Okay you want me to be fake? You are all very sexy ;)"

Tara to Elizabeth and Tash: "Are you guys hearing this? He just called us 'sexy'."

Foreigner: "Wait...no!" [fool confused himself]

Apparently our conversation was amusing enough to be filmed by a fellow customer. 

After creating a possible life scenario for the customer we decided to refer to him as "Cop". 

When trying to use Cop as a "get out of jail free card" we were sadly let down..

Tasha: "Umm... there's a cop over there."

Cop: "This is gonna be on Youtube tomorrow." [insert evil laughter]

Foreigner: "Hey, he is my friend! Hey Bryan!" [friend request DECLINED]

The conversation killer;

Foreigner: "You, redhead, you stand out though.."

Tasha: "Umm..?"

Foreigner: "Bigger coffee size, lips, red hair, figure, I didn't expect to see ladies like you in here ;)"

Tara: "Why not? There's sexy people in here." [points at nerds next table over]

Foreigner: "Yeah! There is some sexy guys here but..."

Tara: "WOW! Okay, THAT is our cue to leave. Bye!"
Foreigner: "Well we're not gay but..."
Tasha: "Yeah surrrre,  in our country that is called a 'circle jerk'."
[TET runs out of Tim Hortons to take shelter in the Honda 'Cooper']